i feel compelled to talk about this subject because my oldest daughter believes in this new paradigm of relationships: self-love--it's this idea of loving yourself before you can love others. if it sounds familiar, you're probably recalling the ultra-popular song that proclaims, "learning to love yourself...is the greatest love of all".
i believe it stems from people who place the blame on themselves for the failure of their relationships. was i too needy? too suffocating? too cold? too jealous? why? the blame apparently, lies with not having enough self-respect, nay, "self-love" in order to learn to love "the right way".
now wait a second--if i don't already know how to love the right way to begin with, how on earth do i know then that i'm loving myself the right way--as in a "non-narcissistic" manner? newsflash: all normal people are inherently narcissistic and selfish. and we do not handout medals for that. but we honor and venerate the heroes who give their lives for others.
personally i believe that loving oneself is an oxymoron. love does not go in the inward direction. only outward. you can not love yourself because it ceases to become love once you do. and there is no wrong way to love, there are only only people who call love's perversion as love. and self-love is a perversion of love. because the only way to experience the glory of love is in loving others. it's that feeling that you get that can't be described. only love can do that. give and give and yet get back a thousand fold in a different way.
and which you don't ever get to feel or experience in loving yourself. that alone should be enough to convince you that self-love is not really love.
maybe i'm just getting caught up in terminology. you can call it by any other name but love. yet still i don't believe that "liking" yourself is the remedy or cure for why your relationships fail. relationships fail because in spite of love, people are not perfect, so they manifest love imperfectly. you can "love" yourself all you want but being imperfect, chances are you'd end up just being so full of yourself and still alone.
because love in and of itself is all about sacrifice, kindness and compassion. all living things are born with the innate will to live and survive, mostly at the expense of others. as such all living things including us, are inherently selfish. our first reaction would be to take care of number 1. but what makes us different from other living things is our inherent capacity to love. what for? it's to give our life meaning and purpose. it's our transcendental quality. it's our God-like attribute. and it's only meaningful when directed to others.
to me it's less important that my relationship fails as long as i gave it my best effort. i don't blame anyone because no one is perfect. i do not love in fear of losing or failure because i realize that permanence is just an illusion. instead, i take losing or failure as another reason or chance to love again. because in the end loving is all that matters....
the rest my dear Kristina, is all just New Age psycho-babble.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Sunday, September 20, 2009
how to watch tv (on your pc) like a dvd
awhile back i talked about showing how i watch tv shows like a dvd. in the sense that you can pause, rewind, fast-forward and slow-mo what you're watching, sans commercials, and at your own convenience! and it's unlike DVR's such as Tivo, where you may still have to fast-forward through commercials. for those technologically handicapped, you can easily hook up your pc/laptop (from a couple of year's old) to your big screen tv's and enjoy it from the comfort of your lazy-boy. i'm not talking about live tv here, streamed via internet or using a tv tuner on your pc. i'm talking about watching pre-recorded tv shows on your pc (or your big-screen tv via your pc).
but what for you ask? well, aside from the conveniences listed above, if you're like most people, you don't use a VCR anymore and hate having to program them. on occasion, you hate missing the last and most important part of the show you recorded, because the timer was set incorrectly or the show before overran, etc. and if you're like me, you always find yourself unable to stay up for those prime-time shows on workdays. now, you don't have to miss any of your favorite shows again.
all it takes is downloading recorded versions of the shows (and this includes movies. too) and watching them in your windows media player or in my case i use VLC media player. sometimes i wait for some shows to finish its whole season, then i download the compilation of episodes once. then i can watch the whole season uninterrupted in one weekend. no more being kept in suspense for a whole week! :-)
now, most recorded 1-hour tv shows without commercials are around 350MB big, in SD (standard definition), and about 1GB size in HD (720p or high-definition, even more in 1080p). movies are typically 750MB in SD, and 2 - 4GB in HD. so as you can see, they can get to be very large files and would take an inordinate amount of time to download. thankfully some kid named Bram Cohen developed the bit torrent protocol of distributing very large files--very quickly (depending of course on your ISP's bandwidth speed). i'm not going to go into detail on how it works, but if you're interested, you click on the torrent link and read-up about it. frankly i think that the way tv shows would be distributed in the near future will be through this medium, direct from the producers to the public, cutting off the big networks as middlemen. the networks will be left with newscasts, live shows such as sports and concerts etc... as soon as they could work out a different economic paradigm for it. but i digress....
note: downloading copyrighted content without prior authorization maybe considered illegal in the country/state where you live. so be aware.
having said that, i have been watching widely available pre-recorded tv shows on the internet and have never had any problems. you see, it's very very difficult to monitor bit torrent downloads as opposed to limewire or napster of old. this is what i do--i watch it, i delete it, and i never distribute it for commercial purposes. it's up to you. please don't blame me if you decide to do so and someone comes knocking on your door with handcuffs.
first thing to do is get a bit-torrent client. it's an application that enables you to download very large files using the bit torrent protocol. here is a good video tutorial of how to do just that.
almost all of the movie files you will download will be in .AVI format. so you can play them using WMP for windows and Quicktime for Mac. i use VLC which has versions for both Windows/Mac. here you can watch a video tutorial of how to download/use VLC. sometimes the youtube video link will give an error when i click--but i just click on the HQ and it starts playing.
in some cases the movie file you download will be compressed or zipped (rar'ed) into many sub-files with a .ZIP or .RAR extension. in this case you would need to extract it using winzip or winrar for windows and stuffit for mac. the extracted file would usually be an .AVI file, which you can then play as above.
for tv shows i use EZTV to download my shows and most BBC documentaries, and briefly described in the first tutorial above. no registration required. but for complete shows, even those whole season compilations, nothing beats www.tvtorrents.com. but you need to register. and sometimes you will need an invite from a member in order to register.
finally, a word about downloading using torrents--seed whatever you download to a ratio of 1.00 at the very least. you can find out what it means in the bit torrent tutorial links above.
happy viewing!
but what for you ask? well, aside from the conveniences listed above, if you're like most people, you don't use a VCR anymore and hate having to program them. on occasion, you hate missing the last and most important part of the show you recorded, because the timer was set incorrectly or the show before overran, etc. and if you're like me, you always find yourself unable to stay up for those prime-time shows on workdays. now, you don't have to miss any of your favorite shows again.
all it takes is downloading recorded versions of the shows (and this includes movies. too) and watching them in your windows media player or in my case i use VLC media player. sometimes i wait for some shows to finish its whole season, then i download the compilation of episodes once. then i can watch the whole season uninterrupted in one weekend. no more being kept in suspense for a whole week! :-)
now, most recorded 1-hour tv shows without commercials are around 350MB big, in SD (standard definition), and about 1GB size in HD (720p or high-definition, even more in 1080p). movies are typically 750MB in SD, and 2 - 4GB in HD. so as you can see, they can get to be very large files and would take an inordinate amount of time to download. thankfully some kid named Bram Cohen developed the bit torrent protocol of distributing very large files--very quickly (depending of course on your ISP's bandwidth speed). i'm not going to go into detail on how it works, but if you're interested, you click on the torrent link and read-up about it. frankly i think that the way tv shows would be distributed in the near future will be through this medium, direct from the producers to the public, cutting off the big networks as middlemen. the networks will be left with newscasts, live shows such as sports and concerts etc... as soon as they could work out a different economic paradigm for it. but i digress....
note: downloading copyrighted content without prior authorization maybe considered illegal in the country/state where you live. so be aware.
having said that, i have been watching widely available pre-recorded tv shows on the internet and have never had any problems. you see, it's very very difficult to monitor bit torrent downloads as opposed to limewire or napster of old. this is what i do--i watch it, i delete it, and i never distribute it for commercial purposes. it's up to you. please don't blame me if you decide to do so and someone comes knocking on your door with handcuffs.
first thing to do is get a bit-torrent client. it's an application that enables you to download very large files using the bit torrent protocol. here is a good video tutorial of how to do just that.
almost all of the movie files you will download will be in .AVI format. so you can play them using WMP for windows and Quicktime for Mac. i use VLC which has versions for both Windows/Mac. here you can watch a video tutorial of how to download/use VLC. sometimes the youtube video link will give an error when i click--but i just click on the HQ and it starts playing.
in some cases the movie file you download will be compressed or zipped (rar'ed) into many sub-files with a .ZIP or .RAR extension. in this case you would need to extract it using winzip or winrar for windows and stuffit for mac. the extracted file would usually be an .AVI file, which you can then play as above.
for tv shows i use EZTV to download my shows and most BBC documentaries, and briefly described in the first tutorial above. no registration required. but for complete shows, even those whole season compilations, nothing beats www.tvtorrents.com. but you need to register. and sometimes you will need an invite from a member in order to register.
finally, a word about downloading using torrents--seed whatever you download to a ratio of 1.00 at the very least. you can find out what it means in the bit torrent tutorial links above.
happy viewing!
Saturday, September 19, 2009
of weasels and people
the average american prevaricates some 200 times daily!
weasels. equivocates. or just plain lies....
this was surprising even to me.... it has been the most important thing in my interactions with people now--i catch someone in a lie once, i tell them right away--twice and i cut off any further connections. if i couldn't because i have to work with them, i just treat whatever they say at face value or with a grain of salt.
the liar in your life: how lies work and what they tell us about ourselves
surround yourself with as many honest friends as you can find. it's more important than money, or fame or glamor. have the strength to walk away from dishonest people, specially those who "honestly" believe their own lies to be the truth. it should be the #1 factor in living your life.
it's difficult to balance believing the innate good in people with protecting your best interest and keep from getting hurt emotionally. but as with most things, practice makes perfect. walk away. disconnect. vamoose. once you make it the rule, you'd be alright.
this much i have learned--that nothing destroys character more than dishonesty.
weasels. equivocates. or just plain lies....
this was surprising even to me.... it has been the most important thing in my interactions with people now--i catch someone in a lie once, i tell them right away--twice and i cut off any further connections. if i couldn't because i have to work with them, i just treat whatever they say at face value or with a grain of salt.
the liar in your life: how lies work and what they tell us about ourselves
surround yourself with as many honest friends as you can find. it's more important than money, or fame or glamor. have the strength to walk away from dishonest people, specially those who "honestly" believe their own lies to be the truth. it should be the #1 factor in living your life.
it's difficult to balance believing the innate good in people with protecting your best interest and keep from getting hurt emotionally. but as with most things, practice makes perfect. walk away. disconnect. vamoose. once you make it the rule, you'd be alright.
this much i have learned--that nothing destroys character more than dishonesty.
Friday, September 18, 2009
virtually back
summer's gone and the day's getting shorter....
and as usual the time on my hands is getting longer.
i present the evidence
or perhaps i'm just more creative when autumn leaves begin to fall.
perhaps this time it would last til next summer....
i'll keep my fingers crossed for me.
and as usual the time on my hands is getting longer.
i present the evidence
- i joined facebook
- i made more than my share of noise in my high school alumni reunion yahoo group
- i formatted my macbook pro and installed snow leopard
- and most important, i re-activated this blog and prodded myself to post
or perhaps i'm just more creative when autumn leaves begin to fall.
perhaps this time it would last til next summer....
i'll keep my fingers crossed for me.
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