Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
how well do we (or do we really want to) know our kids?
lately, i've been amazed at how "growed" up my first four kids are--Kristine, Joel, Krystel and Jenna. and i was fascinated by how much they have changed from when i knew them as kids. even though for much of their lives, i have been an absentee father (something i'll regret for the rest of my life). but perhaps that made it easier for me to accept how they are now much more readily. it's like i'm just getting to know them.
there are those who really think and believe they know their kids very well. up to a certain point in time that is.... once they have flown the nest and set sail on their own, then they quickly evolve into beings we really can't recognize from prior knowledge even if we see them in front of us.
for good or bad it's nature's way. our effect on their existence is about as influential as a driver's ed course. we teach them the rules of the road, the dangers that we know of to avoid, the protocols to observe with other drivers, going forward, backward, parking etc. etc. like it or not, in simplistic terms, this is the major part of our stewardship of our children.
unless they continue to live under the same roof, our influence on their life diminishes to the point of almost nothing. and that's not saying it's bad. it just is. we say a prayer and we hope they carve a life of consequence on their own.
on a different note, i've always wondered when at the point in their lives that they try to reconcile the many lies we told to them when they were growing up--do they resent us for it or smile and accept the difficult aspects of parenting. personally speaking, i know that i only started to appreciate what my parents had been counseling me about when i became a parent myself. it's all about perspective i think. unless you see things from the same point of view, you won't really see it the same way. and even then, chances are you won't see things the same way.
life gets its way and change happens....
there are those who really think and believe they know their kids very well. up to a certain point in time that is.... once they have flown the nest and set sail on their own, then they quickly evolve into beings we really can't recognize from prior knowledge even if we see them in front of us.
for good or bad it's nature's way. our effect on their existence is about as influential as a driver's ed course. we teach them the rules of the road, the dangers that we know of to avoid, the protocols to observe with other drivers, going forward, backward, parking etc. etc. like it or not, in simplistic terms, this is the major part of our stewardship of our children.
unless they continue to live under the same roof, our influence on their life diminishes to the point of almost nothing. and that's not saying it's bad. it just is. we say a prayer and we hope they carve a life of consequence on their own.
on a different note, i've always wondered when at the point in their lives that they try to reconcile the many lies we told to them when they were growing up--do they resent us for it or smile and accept the difficult aspects of parenting. personally speaking, i know that i only started to appreciate what my parents had been counseling me about when i became a parent myself. it's all about perspective i think. unless you see things from the same point of view, you won't really see it the same way. and even then, chances are you won't see things the same way.
life gets its way and change happens....
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
fashion trends
from the Big Bang Theory--
dead is the new unambiguous.
bipolar is the new undecided.
heavily armed is the new born-again.
bald is the new head...and the new crotch.
hairy is the new face.
sheepishly admitting to having an STD is the new flirting.
purell is the new face of fear.
finding the time that's right for you is the new impotence.
the smiley face emoticon is the new "sincerely yours."
smoking is the new outdoorsy lifestyle.
looking forward to insanely expensive private schooling, $1000-a-week nannies and soccer is the new yuppie birth control.
misinformed is the new patriotic.
veganism is the new "tastes like chicken."
serotonin uptake inhibing is the new crowd control.
texting is the new talking.
talking is the new singing.
singing is the new hubris.
gay marriage is the new "be careful what you wish for."
and finally, and only because i really need this to catch on, fifty-seven years old is the new forty-five.
dead is the new unambiguous.
bipolar is the new undecided.
heavily armed is the new born-again.
bald is the new head...and the new crotch.
hairy is the new face.
sheepishly admitting to having an STD is the new flirting.
purell is the new face of fear.
finding the time that's right for you is the new impotence.
the smiley face emoticon is the new "sincerely yours."
smoking is the new outdoorsy lifestyle.
looking forward to insanely expensive private schooling, $1000-a-week nannies and soccer is the new yuppie birth control.
misinformed is the new patriotic.
veganism is the new "tastes like chicken."
serotonin uptake inhibing is the new crowd control.
texting is the new talking.
talking is the new singing.
singing is the new hubris.
gay marriage is the new "be careful what you wish for."
and finally, and only because i really need this to catch on, fifty-seven years old is the new forty-five.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
instructions for life
i want to reprint this here so that i can have a record of it as constant reminder to me. if i were to leave instructions to my kids when i pass from this earth, the following words pretty much sums up everything that i'd want to leave them with. and that no matter what, i will always love them.
1. take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risks.
2. when you lose, don't lose the lesson.
3. follow the three r's:
5. learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
6. don't let a little dispute injure a great relationship.
7. when you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
8. spend some time alone every day.
9. open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.
10. remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
11. live a good, honorable life. then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.
12. a loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
13. in disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. don't bring up the past.
14. share your knowledge. it is a way to achieve immortality.
15. be gentle with the earth.
16. once a year, go someplace you've never been before.
17. remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
18. judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
19. approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.
20. don't be afraid to take that first step. and the subsequent steps will magically appear.
1. take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risks.
2. when you lose, don't lose the lesson.
3. follow the three r's:
- respect for self,
- respect for others and
- responsibility for all your actions
5. learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
6. don't let a little dispute injure a great relationship.
7. when you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
8. spend some time alone every day.
9. open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.
10. remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
11. live a good, honorable life. then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.
12. a loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
13. in disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. don't bring up the past.
14. share your knowledge. it is a way to achieve immortality.
15. be gentle with the earth.
16. once a year, go someplace you've never been before.
17. remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
18. judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
19. approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.
20. don't be afraid to take that first step. and the subsequent steps will magically appear.
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